Friday, October 19, 2012

Fashion Friday: .... >.> ....

Meet Rose, she's a character in the social game Ravenskye City. 

Rose is ... well... very well endowed. You know, with large tracts of land. 

 The thing is... I am beginning to wonder if... well...  0.o  

If she's a paper doll. 

Or if, her large tracts of land were added akin to hair extensions.

They just don't look cohesive. Or like they belong there.

They kinda look like water balloons tied in a pillow case and wrapped around her.

It's like someone decided, "Hey! Lets draw a larger sized humanoid, stick a bird head on it shaped like a squashed pear, and lets smack two eggs on the front of her chest like a kangaroo pouch."


Normally, I'd be the first to applaud plus sized anything in a game. 

And I appreciate the thought. I do. 

Poor execution + IT'S A BIRD (non-flying, apparently)  =  -headdesk-

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

WTF Weds: Your shitting mi...

This, my duckies, is a goat from the newest incarnation of Farmville,
known every so creatively as: Farmville 2.

It's the original Farmville's 3D, mostly animated, younger sibling with an interesting take on mechanics gleaned from all of it's distant and not so distant Zynga game cousins. Thusfar, it is not a ridiculous farce of... it isn't a money grubbing greed mongering... -sigh-... my colorful opinions of Zynga's company strategies aside, it isn't half bad. (Yet. I will curb my pending rants for the time being to get to the point...)

As you've guessed it, I wouldn't be writing about it if there wasn't something utterly mockable to gape at and tilt ones head to the side while blinking stunned with the letters WTF dancing perplexedly through the field one of ones vision...

So, I present to you, in video, when I fed a goat in order to get drops from this goat to further my progress in the game.  I assure you, I'm not getting all fancy or anything, it's just that... >.>  to really...  <.<  understand...  >.>   you have to see it in it's full animated glory. 

The phrase... "squeezing one off" comes to mind...

For the record, I don't blame the goat. I'd stiffen up in a hurry too while crapping out an entire fully formed bottle of milk from my rectum too. I'd also jump around elated with a ginormous grin on my face once having rid myself of such an uncomfortable thing from inside my body.

It makes me want to go to Farmville's special husbandry school where they teach the anatomy of goats and explains the magic that causes their entirely organic bodies to create glass and perfectly formed and in bottle shape. I mean seriously, just think of all the costs saved on packaging when you could have a herd of fantasy-land goats that do it for you, no need for factories or packaging plants!


Thursday, July 19, 2012

My Three Favorite Things about Uldum

Ahhh, Uldum. For being a blechy desert, I found this to be one of my favorite zones. Honestly, the majority of my screen captures are from here for the blog. Come to think of it, maybe that's not a good thing >.>

Regardless, I am going to share with you some of my favorite things about Uldum:

3.  Armadillos. 

Ok, so sue me. It made me happy to see an Armadillo.  They don't have to worry about being road pizzas here, that's gotta be worth something, right?

2. The Quests!   

From the pun-ridden Fashionism quest, to the slightly more complex Nazi mockery (and the hilarious quest to restore Gobbles to his former glory gone wrong... we've covered this before, and I am a sick sick person, but there is just something awesome about flambe.. at least it wasn't my doing this time >.>) to of course all of the Dr. Jones quests and Brann's penchant for statues shooting lasers from their eyes.

 Dr. Jones father is a dwarf...  this explains so much!


Think about it. I never saw a female cat-thing anywhere.

I never saw children cat-things anywhere.

I looked, I really did. Nary a cat-thing other than male. 

So I did my homework, they were orginally Tol'vir, created by the Titans, and some succumbed to the curse of the flesh.... >.>... which really, only makes it worse, cuz ... welll.... >.>   (I hope I'm not ruining the surprise of Blizzards plan for a yaoi comic spinoff...)

And yeah, I guess the titans could have only made male cat-people... but the dwarves have males and females....  and it really doesn't help that my first thought running into the chained prince when I got to the zone was "Thundercats, Hoooo!".....

  Thundercats, HOOOOOOOOO!!!

I'm just going to battle this huge monster cat thing while you contemplate that...

 I've battled you five times, stop glitching and let me pass already!!!

Friday, July 6, 2012

Fashion Friday: I do not think that word means what you think it means.... Forsaken World Vampire Edition

I will never forget my first time in WoW, when I had finally crafted my Black Mageweave leggings... only to find out that they had nothing "legging" like about them. >.<   They were the best gear at that particular time for me so I ran around like a person who forgot to put on normal clothing over her bedroom clothing. Needless to say, I take notice when things are named in a way that suggests that they might actually involve bits of cloth doing what their name implies... only to be perplexed when they very much do not.

Batwing Skirts (and disturbingly unnatural waistlines) aside, I am going to amuse myself with Forsaken World's Female Wampires for today...

You too can channel many sexual fantasies...

First up, the top of choice, Channeling Mail...  we first have a generic icon that gives hope one might have a fully covered top. I know, I know, but you can't blame me for hoping!  We see a top that, erm, well... I'm not entirely sure how it's holding in her tits, tbh... that seems to have fabric that is soft and relatively furry, and not so much anything resembling metal loops linked together to create armor. As for channeling, well, I'm sure it channels many things... but for me it's mostly multiple -headdesk-'s.

 ...but maybe you might want to consider channeling some more fabric?

Next up we have the Channeling Skirt. Lovely and voluminous, covering both legs in a truly skirt like way... and... uh... I am imagining things and need to get my eyes fixed. We actually have the barest wisp of a skirt that looks like a bit of Kleenex dangling from her... what might be a belt. (And as a vampire, I'm sure Kleenex are very utilitarian for wiping ones mouth...)  >.>   Right,  stockings that are thigh high, one of which attaches to aforementioned belt...  ...  ....  -.- ...  A skirt you say?...

 Or just, you know, not even try... >.>

And last, and certainly, the "least".... we have the Blood Drinker's Trousers... which are nothing trouser like. In fact, near as I can tell, she's just wearing underwear still. Did I forget to put the pants on? No... they are clearly in the proper slot...  Perhaps they are invisible trousers?  - sigh-  Underwear, and by that I mean panties, do not trousers make. Being as that trousers generally cover the legs and this particular pair does nothing of the sort...


Wednesday, June 27, 2012

WTF Weds: Sherbet Colored Pyrite!

So I'm out gathering metals through mining in WoW, flapping around on my flying thing through all the new Catacylsm areas... and find myself mining Pyrite. Awesome! I will refrain from wondering why the substance commonly referred to as "fool's gold" has a higher level than actual gold in the game.... >.> .... and move right to the point.

Why the fuck is there ice cream in my mining bag?!?

I mean seriously...Why on Azeroth is Pyrite SHERBET colored?!?

 Now I'm hungry >.<

It's a metal. Not a crystal. It could be shiny and glittery... but more in a Tiger's eye way than anything else... I cannot tell you how many nights I ruminated about this trying to understand. Well, my duckies, I have concluded that this is why:

Once upon a time there was a mage who loved to flambe things. Innocent squirrels, friendly murlocs (who were only trying to say hello through all the salt water they were gurggling!).. and the occasional irrational being that wouldn't fork over whatever she needed to make someone happy... like five handfuls of oozing mucus from bubble blowing sand crawlers. (Fear the bubbles, PHEAR THEM!)  

Regardless, she flambe'd without mercy and without much discrimination and one day accidentally tried to flambe the wrong thing and got sucked into a vacuum to another dimension... with stripes. And polka dots. And maybe a fuzzy purple people eater or two. Maybe three. (Who had all been promptly flambe'd.) 

She lost count when she ran across a zebra whose stripes were unraveling which she found to be a very odd and unsettling sight. "Uhm, you seem to be unraveling...." she said. 

"You think?!?" the peevish and obviously irate zebra replied.  

"Have you tried...." she started to say before being cut off by the zebra who shouted, "DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE HANDS TO YOU?".... so she...blinked. And stared, a bit startled, before saying cautiously, "Well, obviously you don't, you are a zebra...." and began to wonder just what kind of warpyworld version of a dimension she was in.  

The zebra however, having expressed his frustration, calmed down and studied her… which made her feel rather uncomfortable. She began to wonder if he was carnivorous.  The zebra, however, had realized she was not from this dimension. He walked right up to her and got in her face and stared at her unblinking. 

Then, quite simply he said, "I demand a pencil. Yes, a pencil. A pencil is what I need," the zebra murmured while backing back out of her personal comfort zone and looking at her expectantly.
"Err...." she started to say before being cut off again.  "You will go to the forest of sticks and stones and do battle with the essays of StayedUpWayToLateToFInishThatOne and their minions, the distractor disco balls of sparkly destruction.  Their leader, Writers Block, has a pencil."  

The mage, finding all this... beyond ridiculous, closed her eyes, took a deep breathe, exhaled, and pinched herself as hard as she could. She was rather disappointed to find herself still staring at the zebra whens she opened her eyes again.  Begrudgingly, she asked what direction to head in.  The stressed out zebra of improbability scratched out a map with his hoof for her, and she memorized it and went off to retrieve the pencil.  

It was about halfway through the essays that she realized she could probably teleport herself back to her home.  However, being a mage of her word, followed through and got the pencil to help the zebra draw back his stripes and ended the escapade with a better understanding of why pyrite looks like rainbow sherbet in her mining bag.

... You didn't actually expect a logical answer, did you?

Monday, June 18, 2012

Aion: A Weeee Crafting Conundrum...

So before a lot of revamping in Aion for the crafting tests to become a Expert... I had this quest to get a bazillion Salix logs so I could make Salix boards to do some handicrafting quest. I'm not sure if it was for a Salix bow or what. I just remember that I spent days upon days gathering Salix logs so I could make the boards. And while talking to my dear friend Smoda, I found myself wondering...

 Why DOES it take TWO logs, to make ONE board?!?

Jury is still out on it. I'm leaning towards mathematical logic that has been overlogic'd (no, it's not a real word, shush!) into illogicalness. Thankfully, when I had logged in after Aion went FTP, I was given a new quest that was much easier to complete to continue to be able to level up my handicrafting. Crikey.

 My quest for answers, sadly, left me with more questions... why am I using a knife tool and a gem when SMELTING SILVER? Ok ok, I guess one could argue that it is a tool to poke a silver bar out of a mold... but that still leaves me pondering about manual dexterity for the asmodians with how they hold tools...

They appear to have the gripping power of lobster claws...

Saturday, June 16, 2012

It's been awhile...

Ahhh, my duckies, how I have missed you!!! Or rather, writing nonsense for you. Things aren't particularly better, but I have come to the conclusion that it does not seem to matter how much I put out there and throw out there, the universe is working on it's own schedule and I might as well have fun doing what I love for as long as I can. So!  MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA  >.>