Why the fuck is there ice cream in my mining bag?!?
I mean seriously...Why on Azeroth is Pyrite SHERBET colored?!?
Now I'm hungry >.<
It's a metal. Not a crystal. It could be shiny and glittery... but more in a Tiger's eye way than anything else... I cannot tell you how many nights I ruminated about this trying to understand. Well, my duckies, I have concluded that this is why:
Once upon a time there was a mage who loved to flambe things. Innocent
squirrels, friendly murlocs (who were only trying to say hello through all the
salt water they were gurggling!).. and the occasional irrational being that
wouldn't fork over whatever she needed to make someone happy... like five
handfuls of oozing mucus from bubble blowing sand crawlers. (Fear the bubbles,
PHEAR THEM!)
Regardless, she flambe'd without mercy and without much discrimination and
one day accidentally tried to flambe the wrong thing and got sucked into a
vacuum to another dimension... with stripes. And polka dots. And maybe a fuzzy
purple people eater or two. Maybe three. (Who had all been promptly flambe'd.)
She lost count when she ran across a zebra whose stripes were unraveling
which she found to be a very odd and unsettling sight. "Uhm, you seem to
be unraveling...." she said.
"You think?!?" the peevish and obviously irate zebra
replied.
"Have you tried...." she started to say before being cut off by
the zebra who shouted, "DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE HANDS TO YOU?".... so
she...blinked. And stared, a bit startled, before saying cautiously,
"Well, obviously you don't, you are a zebra...." and began to wonder
just what kind of warpyworld version of a dimension she was in.
The zebra however, having expressed his frustration, calmed down and
studied her… which made her feel rather uncomfortable. She began to wonder if
he was carnivorous. The zebra, however,
had realized she was not from this dimension. He walked right up to her and got
in her face and stared at her unblinking.
Then, quite simply he said, "I demand a pencil. Yes, a pencil. A
pencil is what I need," the zebra murmured while backing back out of her
personal comfort zone and looking at her expectantly.
"Err...." she started to say before being cut off again. "You will go to the forest of sticks and
stones and do battle with the essays of StayedUpWayToLateToFInishThatOne and
their minions, the distractor disco balls of sparkly destruction. Their leader, Writers Block, has a pencil."
The mage, finding all this... beyond ridiculous, closed her eyes, took a
deep breathe, exhaled, and pinched herself as hard as she could. She was rather
disappointed to find herself still staring at the zebra whens she opened her
eyes again. Begrudgingly, she asked what
direction to head in. The stressed out
zebra of improbability scratched out a map with his hoof for her, and she
memorized it and went off to retrieve the pencil.
It was about halfway through the essays that she realized she could
probably teleport herself back to her home. However, being a mage of her word, followed
through and got the pencil to help the zebra draw back his stripes and ended
the escapade with a better understanding of why pyrite looks like rainbow sherbet
in her mining bag.
... You didn't actually expect a logical answer, did you?
